Unsorted, Tenderness

Unsettled

Laurie's Notes

Despite the unsettled times

I found myself within,

or perhaps because of them,

I learned to witness the unfolding

of tenderness —

first as a welcomed surprise

at the very end of difficult experiences,

then with a bit of practice

and passage of time

and many repeated,

often desperate prayers,

tender moments appeared

as a flutter,

a faint memory of forgotten magic —

a hint of hope

before resolution appeared

on the surface.

After a while I recognized this

subtle flow of unfolding tenderness

as the continuous quiet prayer

always just below the surface —

waiting patiently for me to follow

where it led.

Unsorted

Never Failed

Laurie's Notes

There were times when

choices had to be made

about what to hold on to.

Often holding on to my soul

meant letting go of pretty much

darn everything else except for the trust

in the dim prayer still

somehow carrying on

through the darkness and chaos.

Then there were times I could see

both darkness and light intensifying.

There was nothing else to do but continue

on straight through,

gathering up the remaining

pieces of trust

I had feared were lost

in the shadowy dark places.

I vowed to reach out one more

last time and then another

to God

with the understanding I would

continue to trust in the unfolding path

set before me

until the time came when it failed

to show up.

It never failed.

A Gentler Path, Unsorted

From There

Laurie's Notes

Life, with all its challenges

and miracles, had a way of leading

my heart back to the quiet space within

and the setting down of all

of the tangled up,

unresolved thoughts —

the difficult step of tossing everything else

up to God.

Time and time again I found myself

in a place of too much —

the only clear option being

to return again humbly

to my deepest heart

and begin again from there.

Within the Mystery

For a While

Laurie's Notes

And so I remembered how to listen

to a different voice.

It was in that moment I knew

for sure that I could trust again

in the mysterious unfolding

of life.

I had, for a while, turned my back

on the quiet prayer within my heart —

my very essence,

the one thing that connected me with

all that was true and real,

only to return stronger

and with greater reverence

for all that was human

and all that was Divine.

Unsorted, Within the Mystery

Memory of My Soul

Laurie's Notes

After a while I learned

to let go a little more deeply

into the mystery.

I had allowed myself to feel

the quiet prayer of my heart.

And so there was no turning back —

not really.

it didn’t matter how many challenges

appeared in front of me

or how many times I found myself

straining to regain my footing in a world

I had tried so hard to understand —

grasping for any small sign

of something meaningful or true.

I became willing to set down

everything else in exchange

for one more small memory

of my soul.

Quieting

In This Place

Laurie's Notes

And so every experience,

no matter how painful or beautiful,

eventually led back to my heart.

It didn’t matter how long

I put off the inevitable prayer

of surrender.

Every single time I found my way

to that quiet prayer

and the immediate respite in

the instant recentering.

It didn’t matter that much of life

remained messy and parts

of the unfolding story would

most likely bring with them

a tenderness almost too raw to bear.

All of it eventually ended up

in this place.

A Gentler Path

Without a Doubt

Laurie's Notes

The delicate process of holding on,

letting go, and reaching without grasping

led to a gentler path.

There I learned the value of

tenderness and became willing to

set down many things in exchange for

a deeper connection with life.

I knew without a doubt that

whatever appeared would eventually lead

back to a tender place in my own heart.

And so I became willing to bear the ache

of leftover traces of unhealed and

unresolved experiences —

willing to be in this place where there are

no guarantees —

willing to show up in each moment

with a quiet prayer and renewed reverence

for the sacred journey,

however it unfolded.

A Gentler Path

Something Beautiful

Laurie's Notes

The transition into tenderness

required delicate footing.

I learned to look a little

more deeply into my surroundings.

Nothing was at it seemed,

but that meant

something beautiful must be

hidden beneath what appeared.

I learned to look a little more deeply

into what was there,

intuitively drawn to remain

in each moment —

no matter what —

determined to find just one

small sign of beauty

when at first glance,

all was dark —

holding each faint whisper of hope —

becoming more determined with each step

to help it to grow.

A Gentler Path

Remembrance

Laurie's Notes

What looked like a dead end

to the path less taken

turned into more of

a vertical journey within,

reflecting outward.

and becoming even more connected

with God and with my own

heart.

There was a gratitude beyond words

for each tiny piece of truth

that added to an unshakeable knowing —

the remembrance of my very essence

that could never be broken —

a tender space

where there had once been

only pain.